My sis

I never got to know my sister Anne until I was a full adult because she was born a full generation ahead of me. Indeed she has a son who is only two months younger than I am!

She had emigrated to the U.S. early in the 70s for education and work and ultimately got married to her sweetheart, also a Barbadian, and raised their six children there. I'm happy to say they all turned out lovely and I'm pleased to see a family so close knitted and adjusted considering all the things that could go wrong in family raising.

Anne came back to Barbados on learning that Mom [my gran] was ailing and losing her self due to old age, back in 2002. I guess the proper term is dementia, or maybe it is Alzheimers. That makes sense. Anyway, although I had met Anne back in 95 when I first came stateside, I didn't have an opportunity to get close because it was a short trip and I was so closed up as a person anyway, I was homesick much of the time lol Nonetheless I had connected quite strongly with her son, the one who is my age from his visit to Barbados as a teen. We'd hit it off quite great at that time and remained friends. It was his advice that got Anne to come back home for a visit.

What was funny was that my family didn't tell me Anne was coming; it was the typical 'Shut Sherri out' scene that was intended to make it appear like I wasn't interested in her coming. Fortunately my nephew, her son, phoned to ask me if I was picking her up from the airport lol He didn't know the depth of animosity in my family and quite innocently had alerted me to the event. [God works!]

Well I made the decision to get in touch even though I had felt absented. The whirl and swirl of the attention and the culture shock - it had been 30 years! - had Anne's head turning for a bit there. She only had three weeks and everything was happening quickly. It turned out that after about 10 days she hadn't accomplished much and was beginning to panic about getting in touch with family and friends from old times.

It just so happened I called the house at that time and we had a conversation. A lot of nonsense had happened... but importantly, the big venture she was undertaking only required a driver for a few days! [She couldn't drive in Barbados... left hand side of the road etc.] The family had basically provided no solutions to help her, just itemised all that could and would go wrong... Sighhhh

So I took a half day off and basically drove her around. Do you know she got more done that day than she had done for the ten days previously? We even did a few other activities that she hadn't imagined possible like visit my old school and Queen's Park. This was significant because in her time, it was a privilege of the elite to go to my school, so she wasn't even able to walk through those gates at that time. How sad... So I was 'fortunate' to have had the exposure to that school; of course by then it was based on merit, academic merit, which I still didn't subscribe to, but at 11 who had much options?

And Queen's Park as that name implies refers to good ol' Queen Elizabeth, and the park that was in existence since colonial days. There were many activities which took place in Queen's Park in her youth and she had really vivid memories of that location. In fact, it appeared like nothing much changed there in 30 years! Quite interesting... We had a lovely afternoon looking at art in the gallery - prison art, mind you; some good stuff - and as things happen, she ended up getting interviewed by a newspaper and her photo taken! I managed to duck out... don't like publicity.

Well a few lovingly synchronistic things happened during her visit. I was broke because I had been entertaining three house guests the previous weeks. I don't hold out for my friends! So I didn't have much reserves for a next visit. I had some moments of wondering how I could make the trip enjoyable for Anne given the drama which had preceeded [unnecessarily].

I decided to enter these word game competitions at the office; it was a special little trivia thing that was going on to gain interest in our national festival. I hadn't been entering because I actually thought the questions were too easy and someone else should win them. It seemed unfair... Well something told me that day to try out... and of course I won! I won a dinner cruise for two on the Jolly Roger.



Ya gotta be able to imagine how good that felt that I could invite Anne to this party. Oh she had a BALL!  I had busted my knee out playing netball and could hardly walk. Well my sis who hadn't danced to calypso in... AGES! partied for the both of us. Just imagine how great the party gets; this is promotional from Jolly Roger:



Always lots of fun. Apart from that I was able to take her swimming finally and to see an early morning sunrise at the beach and a few other little things she had only dreamed of over those years. I was happy to make her happy just a little bit. It was a great feeling.

I tried again at one of those quizzes and of course I won again [it's too easy!], this time dinner for two at a really nice restaurant locally. Again it was a pleasure to invite her and let her have a very nice evening for herself before going home.

I'd have to say the greatest parts of my memory then and in subsequent years is how we've connected. It was as if we had literally known each other all of those years; there was so much similarity between us. She has maintained her spirit deeply despite the many years living in the States. She is bold and stands up for causes, especially to do with children and the family, she is prayerful and openly supportive and really wise! I just love her... Oh, and by the way, did I mention that my grandmother almost entirely raised her, like she did me? hmmm What do you think?

I recently spent a little time with Anne and some of the kids in the family in Miami and found my peace. I've blogged about it previously, about how remarkable it was that it was in fact possible to be totally peaceful in the loving presence of others who simply desire to be harmonious as well. And things still get done; indeed, so calmly and quietly that you end up with such reserves of energy as you didn't even know you ever had!

I doubted the possibility myself, but I am a total convert to intentional harmony now, having met particularly my nephew who at 25 years old had such focus on the peace and joy of life, that I remained in awe the whole time that someone so young could be in touch with his spirit. But he was... I have had other similar examples come into my space since that time that convince me repeatedly that there will always be people to carry that hope to the world. I won't give up...





A photo with Anne and one with Steve my mellow nephew that I mentioned.

My sister and I had to wait nearly 30 years before we found ... well, sisters! We really had our struggles forging through life pretty much alone, with nothing but our hearts to guide us. But now we have each other and it feels so fantastic to have this special bond with someone that I trust and that I know 'gets' me.

I'm actually looking forward to spending some time with the family as soon as possible again since we never know how time will turn out. At the very least I'd like to hear her voice this week.

I like the feeling that I get as I reflect on these moments of synchronicity and happiness in my life. I feel quite protected and guided despite the craziness which transpires at times. Having said that, I do believe we all are and look forward to us all recognising the goodness that is available to our lives at any time.

Peace and love to all my friends everywhere.

Sherri