I'm going through a challenge; I was just going to say 'Probably the biggest ever...', but how many times have I said that? lol
Just that this time I feel that outstanding and excellent outcome as highly likely rather than the usual sensation of steep, rocky mountain climbing without my glasses on being the dominant thought! That's a positive change :)
The challenge is about people [of course!] It's both my strength and my weakness to be able to tune into people's energies without much difficulty. The good: I feel the intention when I tune in. The bad: I absorb the good and the bad intention into my system.
So, technically, I feed and grow from wonderful, warm energies... and I decline and deteriorate from excessive negative energies as well.
In recent months I have been 'living' in the latter space, both professionally and personally. The word 'toxic' has been used to describe the situations repeatedly. It is a stunner to think how many have spontaneously thrown that word out... It's like the consciousness raising we're experiencing is getting us to notice what is truly killing us... underlying decay...
In short, I have been undermined, sabotaged, harassed, threatened, de-friended [this one broke my heart, almost], stepped on and taken advantage of from so many different directions that I don't care to list them here; too much space taken!
First time for any of this? No. First time for so much in succession and simultaneously? Yeh, most likely!
Yeh, my system has taken a beating!
And my undeveloped ability to discharge and recharge has shown its limits. My physical form is responding negatively to the backup. I'm actually ill! Imagine that lol
So, choices...
To the place I want to be...
I'll need to project to that.
This will be my emphasis for this weekend.
Thank goodness I am aware of all the options which I have available to me, even if unarticulated right now. Thank goodness God has fixed me up with what I need to make things better as well, avenues that are willing and open to help me de-stress, refresh and cleanse and gradually heal, and ultimately learn the current lesson about 'managing' my life.
Thank God for the ocean; thank God for my stong sister-friend, the massage therapist, thank God for powerful friends here who are holding their heads up through major hardships and making us laugh somehow [yes, you Mary!]... and injecting me with hope and inspiration each time.
The situations remain; they are still rigid somewhat, but even in my depressed state [depressed meaning I am not flying as I ought to be], I sense how this rigidity will be to the other people's own major difficulty. Indeed, in every case, my 'work' has been to attempt to make life easy for all of us, but it has not been accepted as such. Such collaboration didn't fit the familiar 'rule by fear' modelling... thus it was the new enemy...
Right now it is the healing I'm onto; also guided; still unconscious mostly. But I am really looking forward to the day when people don't feel the need to fight themselves, to resist growth, to be their better selves; where the dominant energies be those of caring for self and others. Fortunately I get those signals from the Universe as well, that this is coming. I do have some absolutely INCREDIBLE people in my space as well that I'm taking the next steps to merge with completely, spiritually.
In the meantime, I look forward to the peaceful transition out of the present situations very soon. I know I will be stronger at the end of it and I am going to do my best not to bring 'why me?' into my thinking, because I miss a lot of 'lucky, lucky me!' moments while doing that. :D
I'm guided to ask my friends for your loving support and energies for my healing, for my transitions on the work front and into a different living environment to be peaceful, joyful and full of excitement for the future that is now.
And again, I wish you peace... firstly... and joy absolutely!
Thank you for being good friends. I'm blessed for certain.
Onto that
theme song which will stay on my intermittent playlist for some time, I think...
Sherrilene